Breaking Free

You don’t need to be stuck in the tug-of-war between your grief and happiness.

There will always be those little triggers.

A name. A memory. A place. A book. A movie. A song. A phrase.

All of which take you back to a dark place, the same dark place you’ve been trying so hard to climb out of. And what can you do? You can’t force people to change their names for you. You can’t wipe away a memory just by asking yourself to. You can’t take a place off the map, a book off the shelves, a movie off the screens, a song off the radios, or a phrase from an entire group of people. What do you do when it’s the little things that tip you off the cliff?

I think there are two things you can do.

The first: Create new experiences with those little things. Watch that movie with a good friend and make jokes the whole way through. Go to that place with your sister and climb all the trees you can see. Listen to a remix of the song, or make a parody of it. Associate these things with happy memories, so every time you’re about to slip, you regain your footing.

The second, if the first doesn’t work out: Let little things pull you away from the edge, too. Think of a name that makes you happy, a memory, a place, a book, a movie, a song, or a phrase. Let those things be your rock. Cherish those little things, especially when the little triggers threaten you.

Remember that it is okay to feel hurt. It is okay to grieve. But never let grief get in the way of your happiness. I know a lot of people think that if you’re hurt, somehow you don’t have the ability to be happy. You do. The way that if you’re crying and someone says a good joke, you can’t help but laugh. You can do both.

Let your happiness conquer your grief eventually though. You don’t need to be stuck in the tug-of-war between your grief and happiness. You can move on. You can. You will. You just need a good place to move on into.


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