I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that phrase everywhere you can imagine. What does that even mean though? Does loving myself mean I become a narcissist? Does loving myself mean trivializing my flaws and exaggerating my virtues? Does loving myself mean sitting and just, I don’t know, feeling this unprecedented love for myself, even when I feel like I’ve done nothing to deserve it?
I think there is a deeper, more honest meaning behind the phrase “Love yourself.” Let’s start off by looking at the kinds of things we wouldn’t love.
You don’t love people who are unkind to you. You don’t love people who tell you, you can’t achieve anything. You don’t love people who see the worst in you. You don’t love people who criticize your victories.
And we wonder why “loving yourself” is such an unachievable goal. We are our worst critics. We are the least kind to ourselves.
If you wouldn’t say it to someone you love, don’t ever say it to yourself.
Loving yourself means saying “I can” more than “I can’t.” It means taking time from your busy life just to relax. It means doing what’s best for yourself even when it’s the hard thing to do. It means waking up and telling yourself you lived till today because you were strong enough to, not because you had no other option. It means celebrating small victories and learning from your losses. It means giving yourself the kindness and care that you deserve.
Sometimes the love we look for in everyone else is hiding within us.